Life, or something like it..

Baby Friends

So apparently the people over at MSN Families are starting to write about what I've said before - that babies and toddlers are capable of making friends, despite all the "experts" out there that say they aren't capable of it. 

We've had even more evidence of Alex having his group of buddies that he thinks of in terms of friends - within his group of Kempville kids, he'll play with them and share toys - well, as much as any 16 month old with share.. but with anyone outside his group of friends, he "nests" his toys and then sits on them to protect them.. I always had thought that by socializing him well (he has played with this group of kids 2-3 times a week for more than a year) that that would socialize him to all kids, but apparently it doesn't work that way.  Ah well, he is big enough to wrestle his toys from his cousins on his own now!

One of the things that I have to disagree with the article about though is their contention that it still isn't a "real" interaction - that there is now the believe that while there can be a bond between toddlers that they still do not believe that they play interactively.  However, within this group of toddlers, I have seen two little boys (16 and 14 months) literally gang up, pin down, and collectively take a toy from a third toddler (15 months).  If that is not working together I don't know what is! And this same trio has been  seen numerous times working out a problem together - like how to get at a toy that is up to high for them to grab (in that case the strong one dragged a baby chair over, the second held the chair, while the third scrambled up to get the toy - I kid you not.  The OEYC co-ordinator keeps shaking her head at the three of them).  And Alex will play Marco / Polo with *anyone* willing to play - now how is that not interactive I ask again?

I think the basic question is not if toddlers are capable of playing, but why it is that so many people treat children (babies and toddlers included) like they are somehow less human? Just because they are younger they aren't  somehow less of a whole person - just because they do things in a different way does not mean they are not capable of the same emotional responses the rest of us are and deserve the same respect that any adult would receive.  Care for them yes.  Provide guidance and boundaries, yes.  But at the same time, let them know why they are necessary, and don't trivialize the fact that they are going to think that the boundaries suck, any more than an adult in the same situation would.

Summer Haze

Don't you just love that warm, cozy feeling you get after a great summer day? The one you get from a day's worth of sun doing absolutely nothing? Where you are awake, but just too relax to stress about chores, bills, work, whatever?

As I sit here after a day playing with my niece and the little darlin', with the glow of too much sun radiating heat all around me, it makes me thing what would make a day more perfect (I mean, other than having work? [grin])? With this in mind:

Recipe for a Perfect Canadian Summer Day

• 4 parts lounging
• 3 parts swimming (this should, at least in part, be combined with the first part for maximum relaxation)
• 2 parts good food
• 1 part sun
• 1 part shade (preferably by a large, old tree by the water)

Combine above ingredients and allow to sit for at least 5-8hrs. Add 1 part boating only if above seems a little dry. Next, add 1 trip to a hometown ice cream bars (not Dairy Queen - one of those small town ice cream stands with picnic tables out front). Simmer next to an evening bonfire, and mix in 1 part marshmallows. Pour into comfy bed.

My Life's Top 10

The recent game of blog tag made me think once again about my earlier post on "My Life", and the Big Things that I would like to do...

I am still working on that one, but I bet with all the "top 10" lists zooming around the email world right now, you could make a Top 10 List of Top 10s.. On My Life - Top 10 "Top 10s":

10) Top 10 most influential artistic works (books, songs, art) of your life

9) Top 10 craziest things you've ever done

8) Top 10 people in history you would love to meet

7) Top 10 most important, life altering decisions you've made

6) Top 10 things you regret

5) Top 10 best childhood memories

4) Top 10 best random acts of kindness performed

3) Top 10 Most Amazing Things that have happened to me thus far

2) Top 10 Amazing Things I want to do before I die and the number 1 top 10 that I would love to read about people:

1) Top 10 Heroes in my life, and why.

I love the idea of the latter because I truly believe that Heroes.. honest to goodness, capital "H" heroes exist in our day to day existence, who rarely get told how their efforts, energy, enthusiasm, etc. have made a difference.

Just go ahead and pick one (unless you have time to list out 100 things.. and if that is the case, I pretty much hate you already.. [grin])

Anyone want to play?

If I were..

Going back to my previous post of never seeming to have time for anything, I was tagged by Jen several days ago to participate in the blog "If I were.." multi-blog thread. 

After trying to post about it for the last 5 days, I am taking a virtual smoke break Hey, if others can go downstairs for mental health breaks, I should be able to do so up here.  At least unlike them, I look like I am working, should someone actually be looking for me!

The biggest time problem for me was that part of the game is that you need to "tag" three other blogs.  The problem is that I only read a few other blogs (in those spare seconds that I have), and Danigirl, Andrea, Ann D, and Jen (who tagged me) have all been tagged.  I could do a disservice by randomly picking links off of other blogs, but that would not be fair.  I will try to find appropriate "tag-ies"...really... maybe between 1am and 4am.. all I am doing then is wasting precious time sleeping anyway.

But in the interim, I will at least post my answers, for all of those of you who I just know are dying waiting for me to post (really need to work on that sarcasm thing).

Here we go:

Here's how the game works. Below are a series of statements. Choose five and complete them, then "tag" three more people to do the same (or in my case, go off in search of worth receipients of the tag, and then update my post later on; or alternatively, if you read this and wanted to play, go ahead and cut and paste the list for yourself - but be kind and let me know so that I can cheat, and have one less person to tag).

The statements are:

If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a psychologist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an inn-keeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world
If I could be married to any current famous political figure

Here are my answers:

If I could be a librarian I would want to be one at the vatican.  Could you imagine having access to 1000s and 1000s of years of recorded history available to you to read through, and almost no users of the library so you would almost never be interupted while reading!

If I could be a professor: I would teach european history.. I think that era of history is facinating! (this one does not count, since it is pretty much a repeat of the last! :) )

If I could be a writer I would be just like Ann D, and shuck this corporate life to life off my writing income.. of course, that would never happen, but maybe I could make at least enough to fund another maternity leave (more to come.. my "I've Lost My Mind" workbook is going to the publishers in 3 weeks after I finish incorporating the comments from several of my book reviewer victims helpers.

If I could be an inn-keeper I would get to do the stuff I love all day, including gardening and cooking (I know, I am such a geek), making fresh jams.  I would have to hire a cleaning staff, since that part would bite, and since Inns are not exactly profitable I would need some type of magic fairy dust to get customers to feel compelled to visit my inn every other week even in the winter, but other than that, it would be great.  Of course, I would have to go steal all of Jen's bathrobes, but that is another story...

If I could be a world famous blogger I would blog about my rants and other *brilliant* [drip] ideas about security (my profession), and would figure out a way to get people to pay me for these random thoughts (can you tell that self emplyment is a theme here?).

If I could be married to any current famous political figure I would want to be married to Dubya so that I could kick his sorry ass from here to kingdom come, and to convince him never to become a politician to begin with.

Okay, that was not too painful.  It only took an hour.. (grin).

I'll update with my tags when I find three people to tag [insert eye roll].

Feelings of inadequacy

I have this nice little blog going, but I have to say, I feel terribly inadequate about it most of the time.

Although it is one of the few things that have been keeping me sane the last few months (along with Babytalk - have I mentioned how wonderful the Health Unit in my town is?) - it my version of a very public group therapy sessions - I've been having these nagging doubts about my competency to have one.

Yes, blogs are supposed to bring publishing to the masses. But have you seen the quality of writing out there? It is absolutely superb. Despite the usual comments that blogs must mostly contain people's shopping lists, and other boring minutia of their day to day lives, all of the blogs that I have visiting typically are well written, though provoking pieces.

Unlike my own. I do not have the insight genius of Jen, or the vast writing experience off Ann D, and yet these people are kind enough to keep up with what is going on here. Oh the pressure of it all.. My Rick Merser-esque rants aside, I have a sneaking suspicion that I am merely a creative legend in my own mind. Maybe I could get my old grade 12 English teacher to grade me...

Now wouldn't that be priceless? In order to qualify for the right to public an open blog (friends and family are always obligated to read even the most bland material), a thirty-[cough] old woman is required to go back to make sure that in all the years since school that one's creative writing skills are still up to snuff.. And what if they were found not to be? Could they retroactively rescind your diploma?

Hmm.. maybe it isn't such a good idea after all!

PTSD

((Originally Posted May 2))

So where was I on this..

Oh yes, the screaming...

I can't believe that I am the only one who feels like they skin is starting to crawl after the 5th or 6th hour of listening to DS scream and cry (we just went through another bout of illnesses, this time croup and stomach flu). As sorry as I feel for the little guy, it is incredibly hard to take listening hour after hour after hour of his screaming.. is this not traumatic on a child's poor mother to see her otherwise happy, easy going kid suffering so much that he refuses to leave her side, and spends the day crying?

Of course, if funding to women's related heath issues ever reached even 1/10th of that of men, a correlation between post-partum depression and post traumatic stress disorder might actually be found. Then again, since in many corners of the medical community women are still considered the natural, caring, and comforting gender, and thus should be just able to "take" listening to their baby's crying (you know, like they used to think a man, by virtue of all that testosterone, should just be able to "take" listening to gunfire and bomb shells), it is doubtful that until many more women join the sciences and medical communities will more serious research into this area be done.

BTW, isn't wonderful (drip) to hear that enrollment by women in the sciences field is dropping at a staggering rate? But that is a whole other rant..

Post traumatic stress disorder

((Originally Posted March 28th))

I wonder if anyone investigated the correlation between post-partum depression and post traumatic stress disorder?

I am convinced that when a baby screams for any reasonable (unreasonable?) duration, new mom's get shell shocked from it, just as any other high stressed professional (nurses, doctors, firemen, etc) do under fire.  How could anyone not get shell shocked after being screamed at for hours and hours - particularly with a colicky baby? 

Single Mom's are my heros

((Originally Posted March 28th))

After two weeks of being on our own, which included one nasty case of croup (the darlin'), one bout of pneumonia (also the darlin'), a case of bronchitis (me), two 5.5hr car trips (one each way), a visit to grandma's (mom's & daughters shouldn't share the same space for 10 days), and a case of tonsillitis (the little darlin' again),  I can say with absolutely certainty that I have no clue how single mom's stay sane...

(but at least I can finally vent via blog!)

Whinging about the "perfect mom" label

((Originally posted March 7th))

So someone made the (off-line) comment to me regarding my previous post about "Please don't hate me" that we all have priorities... which in itself was meant as a compliment, in that left handed, high school clique snobby kind of way that *of course* we mom's should be making our own food, scrapbooking all the little precious memories, going to a million playgroups etc.

Despite its intentions, the comment really ticked me off - if one holds true, does it also mean that because my "priorities" include making my own baby food (I love to cook), and not to be a fashion dish and do the whole make up thing (which I hate) that I am therefore also a slobbish old-fart?

I think everything in life is a trade off - that is if you try to stay sane through it...

I have the ability to make my own food, and do all the "textbook" mom things only because of the grace of two things - I have absolutely no life, and my husband took the year off with me. 

Having the two of us to look after our little darlin', while financial suicide, was an absolutely wonderful experience that I know very few people are able to do, and am so incredibly thankful to all the things and people that helped make it happen.  How people manage through the baby boot camp on their own still boggles my mind - and single mothers must be modern miracle workers IMHO.

Life's top ten

((Originally Posted March 5))

So you read these people's "inspiration" (that is another rant) stories where they talk about their life's ambitions, and I've often wondered, do people really do that?  Sit down when they are young enough to look into the future (that would already cut me out) and ponder the 10 most important things that they must accomplish in their lives?

... even just writing that out made it sound like requiring *way* more organizational skills than 99% of the population (again, me included).

But as I sit here just statistically under 1/2 my life expectancy, I think were I able to go back and make such a list, it probably would include (in no particular order):

• Raise a great family so one day I can be house that all the kids, friends of kids, grandkids, friends of grandkids, visiting aliens, etc go to hang out at every week.
• Tour Europe the way Europe should be explored - over the course of at least several months, but preferably over a year.
• See the corners of the world - in this case, that would be touring the wild life preserves in Africa, seeing the Great Wall in China, visiting the mound in Alice Springs, AU, and watching sunrise from Stonehenge and sunset at the Great Pyramid.

(Yes, you might read this and think me rather selfish - it goes without saying that everyone wants to help people/the environment/animals/[insert your cause here], and thus it is redundant to put them on the list.)

Of course,  the reality of it is that were I to have written it when I was 20, it is more likely to have included:

• See Aerosmith and Kiss together in concert
• Earn/Win a million dollars
• Set up a really kickass home computer network with home automation

And while admittedly these are cool (and the first I've seen each on their own), is hardly something you go to St. Peter "Wasn't that cool"?  And I never realized how much I wanted/liked the idea of kids until my little hellion arrived on the scene last year - before that it was a theory that seemed interesting, like painting was interesting, but I couldn't really see what all the fuss was about..

So what about all of you?  Every though of a top ten?