So apparently the people over at MSN Families are starting to write about what I've said before - that babies and toddlers are capable of making friends, despite all the "experts" out there that say they aren't capable of it.
We've had even more evidence of Alex having his group of buddies that he thinks of in terms of friends - within his group of Kempville kids, he'll play with them and share toys - well, as much as any 16 month old with share.. but with anyone outside his group of friends, he "nests" his toys and then sits on them to protect them.. I always had thought that by socializing him well (he has played with this group of kids 2-3 times a week for more than a year) that that would socialize him to all kids, but apparently it doesn't work that way. Ah well, he is big enough to wrestle his toys from his cousins on his own now!
One of the things that I have to disagree with the article about though is their contention that it still isn't a "real" interaction - that there is now the believe that while there can be a bond between toddlers that they still do not believe that they play interactively. However, within this group of toddlers, I have seen two little boys (16 and 14 months) literally gang up, pin down, and collectively take a toy from a third toddler (15 months). If that is not working together I don't know what is! And this same trio has been seen numerous times working out a problem together - like how to get at a toy that is up to high for them to grab (in that case the strong one dragged a baby chair over, the second held the chair, while the third scrambled up to get the toy - I kid you not. The OEYC co-ordinator keeps shaking her head at the three of them). And Alex will play Marco / Polo with *anyone* willing to play - now how is that not interactive I ask again?
I think the basic question is not if toddlers are capable of playing, but why it is that so many people treat children (babies and toddlers included) like they are somehow less human? Just because they are younger they aren't somehow less of a whole person - just because they do things in a different way does not mean they are not capable of the same emotional responses the rest of us are and deserve the same respect that any adult would receive. Care for them yes. Provide guidance and boundaries, yes. But at the same time, let them know why they are necessary, and don't trivialize the fact that they are going to think that the boundaries suck, any more than an adult in the same situation would.
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