I got a message from a friend on the weekend who's darling daughter is about a month younger than our little darlin'. Her and I went back to work on the same week, and are going through similar challenges trying to find that "work/life" balance that people keep claiming exists:
Hey all. Apologies for the lack of replying to email/phone calls. Stupid week. Spent the morning writing a stack of files. Asked myself on Thursday why I went back to work at all. Many times actually. Bloody hell. I have no time for anything anymore. And boy am I crabby about it. Sigh.
Things gett crazy going back to work. With all the pregnancy/baby books out there, you would think there would be one which prepares those of us with no option about returning to work (at least not wihtout some serious lifestyle changes, and living with parent units at my age just really is no longer an option). I barely time find to breath these days.. sigh.. not that staying home is an option, so I guess I will just have to find a way to make it work. I am not sure if others have the same feeling, but these days I am always feeling like I am doing everything wrong. I don't have enough time to focus here at work, and with all the crap that is going on I really do need to spend the extra time here, but at the same time I get to spend almost no time with the little darlin' (to show how bad it is, now when someone says "where's mommy?" he waves... you know, like he waves to me as I drive away in the morning.. ARGH). In addition to that, it is not like there isn't a million chores at home to do (DH tries to help, but ultimately he is still a guy, and while he is great with Alex, he sucks at remembering/doing house chores, despite what he says).
And the crabbiness too - everything seems to make me furious these days.. even the stupid little things that after I go back to it a few hours later and realize I am over reacting, and yet they still piss me off.. argh.
I just have to keep telling myself:
You returned because you had to; because you love your job; because you want to be able to afford the things that the little darlin' needs without having to worry about where to get the money; and because you don't want to eat spam and macaroni every night.
Is the trick to just keep saying these to yourself over and over?.. I am sure there is a point that this gets easier... I hope..
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